There are so many emotions swirling around the need to respect and love. People are always looking for the two and finish with one or none. Why is it?
Well, for one thing, love is often given without thought, whereas respect must be earned. How many times have you heard someone say, 'I do not know why I like this and that because I do not even like him or her?
Then there is the confusion between love and lust. Few people can tell the difference between the two in the early stages of a relationship. And even after the relationship has had time to mature, it is still difficult to determine the difference between love and sex, if you still have sex with your partner.
But respect is different. If nothing else, you can feel when someone respects you. You may feel validated by that person. It is not only nice to hear nice words because these words must be backed by action. These are actions that tell you if you are respected and can not continue to tell someone that you respect; you have to earn it.
If you are constantly crossing its borders, you have respect you seek. The whole 'I love you' in the world will not diminish the lack of respect that you feel when you know someone is pulling you away.
When someone continues to harm you or criticize without offering a way to solve the problem, you know that this person just wants to vent, but does not respect you enough to help solve the problem or change the status quo.
Many critics say that in jest or in subtle ways that not even realize what it is. We know only that it does not feel good about yourself, but can not understand why. And you can love that person deeply, but he or she does not respect or feel respected by him or her.
Their views are sought and you have to keep to yourself? Do they have their opinions on their relationship or ignored? When you're in a relationship, one of the most sensitive issues is the exchange of ideas and projects that involve the two of you. If only one of you is to make most decisions that affect both, then you are not respected, regardless of the reasons given by her partner.
If you care more respect than love, far from someone who does not have precise measurements. If love matters most to you that respect, at least try to feel that their love is returned to the same extent. The important thing is that you know what you are looking for in a relationship so that you can identify it when you feel or notice the absence of it when it does.
Connie H. Deutsch is a business consultant and renowned advisor of foreign staff who has a deep understanding of human nature and is a natural problem solver.